Secure Attachment Bonding: Beyond Consanguinity
- Santiago Toledo Ordoñez
- Oct 21, 2024
- 2 min read
Secure attachment is a fundamental concept in developmental psychology that describes the ability to form healthy, trusting relationships. It is often associated with family ties, such as those established with parents or siblings. However, it is important to recognize that a biological connection is not necessary for a person to become a source of secure attachment.
Secure attachment develops with specific individuals we choose who adequately respond to our emotional needs in moments of vulnerability. These individuals can be partners, close friends, or mentors, who provide emotional support and understanding. What is crucial is that they demonstrate empathetic presence and respond to our needs with attention and care, among other important characteristics.
From an early age, we seek meaningful connections that provide us with security and support. A secure attachment is built when someone is willing to be present and validate our emotions, regardless of the biological relationship. This type of bond is based on the quality of the interaction, not on blood ties.
It is essential to understand that attachment does not involve possessing another person; rather, it is an intrinsic part of human nature, where we co-regulate our emotions and needs in relation to others. These connections intertwine with our identity, influencing who we are and how we relate to the world.
Attachment can be formed and transformed throughout our lives. Experiences, both positive and negative, can influence our relationships and how we connect with others. Therefore, it is possible to build secure bonds with individuals who do not share our genes but become key figures of emotional support.
By choosing the people we surround ourselves with, we can prioritize those who provide us with a sense of security and trust, regardless of whether they are family members. These relationships can enrich our emotional lives and help us face challenges more effectively.
Thus, a secure attachment does not require a biological relationship. The people we choose, who respond to our emotional needs, can play this crucial role in our lives. By opening ourselves to the possibility of forming these bonds with specific individuals, we can build a strong and enriching support network that fosters our emotional and personal well-being. For more information, I recommend following the psychology expert Soledad Grunert, who is an ambassador of good love and offers valuable insights on attachment and human relationships.
Disclaimer: the information shared in this article is general and introductory to share a notion regarding the complexity that underlies the bonding model of attachment with a relational approach, so it is urged in case of generating curiosity to investigate and inquire more about it and if it makes sense to you the applications it may have for your life, because for example it is not the same to refer to a bond that to a relationship.

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